Subtle Signs That You Have Angered the Universe

Sometimes it’s difficult to tell if the universe is pissed at you. If your boyfriend dumps you via email the same day you get told you didn’t get the job… yep, it’s mad. If you twist your ankle the night before you’re supposed to go on an island holiday… yep, it’s angry. If you try to jump the gorge and end up falling down the side instead, then the helicopter smacks your head repeatedly into rocks, then you slide out the back of the ambulance and back down the gorge… dude, your karma is no good here.

The universe is definitely not happy with Homer.

But maybe the universe is just a teensy bit angry at you. Maybe you aren’t lucky enough to be getting these huge, proper signs, and you have to infer that you’re in trouble from the little ones.

As always, you can count on me for help.

Sign One: Bathroom Bewilderment
Let’s not beat around the bush (pun intentional). We all have our favourite toilet stall at work. The one where the seat is at perfect height, the paper is on the right side, and you feel like you’re at a good proximity to the door. The Goldilocks of all possible options open to you. But when you go to the bathroom, someone else is in your stall. You have to use another one.

Sign Two: Milk Mix-Up
You rinse out your work coffee mug. Put in a teaspoon of instant coffee. Then another half spoon, for luck. Maybe some sugar (unless you’re sweet enough already, hyuck hyuck). Go to pour in the milk. There’s a dribble left in the bottle. Will it be enough? No. No, it won’t be enough. The contents of your mug are a darker tan than you like. You have to go all the way over to the fridge to get a new bottle.

Sign Three: Photo Furor
You and your friend are taking some photos of yourselves. You smile, iPhone 4 flash goes, and you check the preview. Your hair is slightly askew. You take another. You smile, iPhone 4 flash goes, and you check the preview. Your hair looks a bit better. She hems and haws. She decides she likes the first one better, and puts it on Facebook. She deletes the second one.

Have you experienced any of these recently?

If so, it might be time to assess your karma.

You’re obviously doing something wrong.