Haiku Reviews of Public Bathrooms: Fork & Brewer

A poet perches on porcelain.

THE FORK AND BREWER
Wellington, New Zealand

The Fork and Brewer
Men with suits and fancy beers
Find it on Bond Street.

My dinner was good
But we’re not here to talk food
Nor décor nor staff.

We’re here to review
Using the form of haiku
How good were the loos?

(Don’t get your hopes up
That last haiku was a fluke
Rhyme accidental).

I think you’ll agree
That’s enough introduction
So let’s get to it.

Along the side walls
(Upcoming pun intended)
The loos are kept flush.

It felt kind of strange
To be facing the wrong way
Shrug… maybe it’s art?

They score points for ‘weird’
With their haphazard barrels
Housing the basins.

But then they lose some—
Only one soap dispenser
And not where you’d think.

The lighting was low
In a good way, flattering
You need that in bars.

They had paper towels
Air dryer option as well
A lady likes choice.

Conclusion: kooky
I recommend you try it
I’ll go there again.